I have a new and longreaching goal when it comes to technology in our family life: nonjudgment. Here’s why.

Several weeks ago, a friend and I attended a seminar on parenting and technology. The leaders opened up the evening by asking audience members to pose their questions up front, so the questions could be answered during the presentation. I was totally blown away by the intensity of the questions. In fact, three-fourths of the parents who raised their hands actually had very small questions but very large, impassioned rants that surrounded them. As my friend described it, they laid out all their baggage.

Now, I am well aware that I wouldn’t be blogging about parenting and technology if I didn’t have my own baggage and some deep-seated reasons why this particular topic gets  under my skin. But it’s always easier to see what’s unproductive in other people, which is what happened to me at that seminar. Wow! I was them (though perhaps more discretely). And suddenly I could see how unproductive this emotional charge can be, especially in dealing with kids.

To me, nonjudgment doesn’t mean taking a “whatever” stance when it comes to use of electronics in our family. Limits and boundaries are important. It just means I’m striving to let go of the emotion that can sometimes infiltrate how I deal with screens. Carl Jung’s famous quote, ”What you resist, persists,” rings true here.  TVs, computers, phones, XBoxes, Wiis are not good or bad. They are just machines. Children and their screen habits are not good or bad. They are just children. My own screen habits and parenting approaches are not good or bad. They are just me.

 My Zen challenge going forward will be to enjoy what electronics have to offfer, to enforce limits without emotion and to quiet my interior judge. Take a deep breath, Nancy. And exhale. I’ll let you know how I do.